Has it been a week already? We had a night staying with friends, a flurry of emotions. I don’t think I stopped talking. We were fed well. Thanks, guys. X. That was followed by four nights in a very nice hotel, no running and a delightful buffet mean that my waistline isn’t thanking me now. How good habits die. Beaten down by emotional eating. Goodbye marathon training…
Our daughter loved the hotel; a friend rescued her teddies so with Scarlet the Unicorn and NooNoo the, well, I’m not sure what it is, but she loves it a bit less than Mummy, maybe a bit more than Daddy; both of these safe and with her she snores quietly through the night. I could stay awake all night listening to that gentle snore. In the waking hours she’s driving me insane with her energy but I’ve never loved her more than I have this week. Funny that. Part of the minimalism drive is so I can spend more Daughter and Daddy time playing outside and doing QT stuff together. We had caught up on this time quite well in the past few weeks before the chaos of the storm. Unbelievably I think some of the hotel time has helped cement us more. I think she knows I’m not doing well. She comes over and tells me I’m the best Daddy, we cuddle, I shed another tear. I hold her tighter for a bit longer as the tear soaks in or runs off. Then she’s off herself. It’s like her “there there” pat in the head. It means the world to me. Children are so clever and resilient. I have no idea how this will affect her long term.
The four days in the hotel were a blur of activity. Conference calls about the house, visits to the house. A lot of coffee. A lot of social media. Too much! Neighbour and friends empathy and support are staggering. This week I’ve learned to just say yes. Coffee – yes, property advice – yes, a hug – definitely. I don’t really come across as a hugger. I’m not very good socially, I don’t find ‘social’ particularly difficult, I often just don’t know what to say. I don’t think people listen to ones other much, just waiting for the pause to say the thing that other people don’t want to listen to either. Cynic! Lack of self-confidence maybe? I’m not sure. Maybe that’s where I am on the spectrum. I think my experience this week may be changing this attitude. Hugging, I see other people, other huggers and wonder how you start being a hugger. Do you hug one friend, it gets comfortable then you just hug everyone. I have a few hugger friends and I love receiving a hug from them. I would make a resolution right Here and now that I’ll hug more, though I won’t. Let’s not fool ourselves. Can you imagine that arm spready hug ready look when it’s not reciprocated? I must find happiness in the hugs I get.
Hug regardless, the few friends I have I love and value dearly.
I’ve missed my Dad this week. Someone to talk to, or maybe at. Dads are people it’s okay to talk to, or at and they just sit and listen, or not and just love you back. Wait, that’s the reverse of how I describe my daughter and my relationship but I don’t listen to her as much as I should. This needs to change too. Shift a gear, down. Slower. More time for listening to her. Less busy.
I’ve been listening to an audiobook as I dart around this week. It’s called ‘Essentialism – The disciplined pursuit of less’ by Greg McKeown. It’s about saying no to the noise to concentrate on producing the right quality work. It transcends work and is applicable to life, I think. Another ism for the list – Essentialism. Hopefully, this will help with the ‘busy’ and help her and I find more of that QT.
After the hotel, we’ve been moved into a golf club’s converted barn for the weekend. Everywhere else was full; there’s a rugby match this weekend, I don’t have time to get excited about rugby but I did get excited about the barn. I planned a party for a few friends that had helped out with the flood. A Mexican feast. I got very distracted by it.
It didn’t happen. I crashed! It all caught up with me and I wobbled. Self-care time. That night I slept for the first night in a week. I was starting to look tired I’m told. Friends are always too polite. We did manage some friends over the following day, good friends. Thank you, good friends.
The highlight of the week. A water experience, our daughter’s swimming is progress well. Three laps of the pool today. I’m so proud. A water-related thing. This week. Who knew!
Right, I’m tired, hopefully, I’ll sleep tonight. Back to work and school tomorrow. I’m not sure if I’m ready. Another week and another hotel tomorrow. Better get some sleep…